Free guide · 4 minute read

You shouted at 7 PM. You said sorry at 10 PM. Here is the bedtime that helps both of you.

The time your child should be asleep, worked out from when they wake. Then the five steps I use to get there.

For ages 1 to 5Use it tonight

A notebook page: You shouted at 7 PM. You said sorry at 10 PM. They were asleep. Below it, a doodle of a child asleep in bed

The bedtime finder

When does your child wake up?

Tap the time they usually wake. This is the time to be asleep, not the time to start getting ready.

8:00 PMasleep by, on a day with a nap

No nap today? Aim for 7:30 PM.

How I worked it out. Sleep doctors (American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 2016) say a child needs 11 to 14 hours in a day at ages 1 to 2, and 10 to 13 hours at ages 3 to 5, naps included. A nap gives one to two of those hours. So the night has to give about 11. The subtraction is mine, not theirs. Every child differs by half an hour or so. If yours wakes happy, you have found it.

My 5-step evening

Count back one hour from that time. Start here.

Tick what you managed tonight

Each step, and why it is there.

This is one father's plan, not a programme. It saves on this phone, so you can come back tomorrow.

Feed first. A small snack at pick-up, dinner early. A tired, hungry child can look like a naughty one. Lights low, an hour before. Switch off the big light. In one small study of ten preschoolers (2018), bright evening light held back the body's sleep signal. The same order, every night. Dinner, bath, a story, bed. In a trial with 405 mothers (2009), a fixed routine brought faster sleep and fewer night wakings in three weeks. The mothers' mood improved too. Ask for nothing new. No new rules, no big questions, no shopping at seven. The hard things belong to the morning. The last ten minutes in your lap. If you shouted today, say it now, while they are awake: "I shouted. I was tired. It was not you."

0 of 5: Tick what you managed tonight.

Hand-drawn chart: the age they act falls from 3 at 7 AM to 1 at 7 PM

Manjunath holding his daughter on a street in Vietnam, both smiling

Who wrote this guide

I am Manjunath. I built a maze for my daughter, and these guides are what I learnt on the way.

Ex-VinFast Lead Design Engineer3,000+ homes

A calm evening starts with asking less.

Of a small child, and of yourself. As an engineer I draw things to understand them. So I drew the evening.

Read my story →

What we stand for

CalmPlay that slows a child down.

CuriousCulture discovered through play.

ConnectedThe right heroes, 5,000 years old.

Hand-drawn layers: a small block labelled the three-year-old on top of a large block labelled still mostly baby

Where the idea comes from

"Still majority baby underneath."

Those are the words of Nupur D Paiva, a clinical psychologist and child psychotherapist, speaking on Sitaara in August 2026. She says young children carry their earlier selves inside them. One moment they seem grown, and a little later they need what a much younger child needs. I only drew what she said.

One study agrees with the tired part. Researchers followed 91 children aged 3 to 5 for six months (Godzik and colleagues, Frontiers in Sleep, 2024). On the weeks a child slept worse than their own usual, their parents reported they handled their feelings worse. The effect was small, and the families were mostly well-off Americans. It matches what most parents describe at seven.

Hand-drawn chart: two lines, them and you, both falling from 6 AM and meeting at 7 PM

Three things we tell ourselves

Tap each one.

These are my answers as a father, not research findings.

Quick check

7 PM. They are crying because you gave the red cup, not the blue one. Best first move?

A hand-drawn speech bubble: I shouted. I was tired. It was not you.

For the hour before dinnerOur Hanuman maze: it does nothing until their hand moves it. No batteries, no sound. See it →

A quiet thing for small hands

Hanuman's Fruit Hunt

The little Hanuman who thought the sun was a fruit, on a birch wood board. Your child guides every fruit along the path with a magnetic pen. It does nothing until their hand moves it. No batteries, no sound. For 15 months and up.

₹1,099~~₹1,899~~

See the maze See all four mazes